I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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