"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
