Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
