I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
