I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize