i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
