tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
