how can u be prego again
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
