I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
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She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
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I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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