So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
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I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
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Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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