she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
