Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
