Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves