another moral hangover. fuck.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.