I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.