how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize