While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
how drunk are you?
Several
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize