Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
