and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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