took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
