You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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