her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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