Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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