I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
