Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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