every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize