Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
