WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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