All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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