I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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