That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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