she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We had sex on a dog bed..
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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