does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
