I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
