PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
