i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
