dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think your dad took our porno
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