all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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