i think i have two assholes
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we're making bets on your personal life
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
