I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
