Porn is love you can see.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
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The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
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Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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