maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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