yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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