i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
