I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize