sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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