I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
