Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
