so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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