Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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