Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
