i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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