Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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