do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
