yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
How external is "for external use only"?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
