Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
