these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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