some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
