I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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